cunning linguist - Do you come here often or did somebody spill a drink?

Just here to be nosey at the moment after a friend suggested I had a peek on here
I'm a single parent (sort of), my "kids" are 21 and 18 lol, I work full time as a semi self employed electrician/alarm installer and in my spare time drink more tea than it would take to drowned an averaged sized elephant
My sense of humour is "unique" (thats the nice word for it) and isnt to many peoples tastes, so if you cant see why I would chuckle at women having "I like to eat out" on their profile then I'd get on your tits in ten seconds flat (and NOT in the good way either)
I'm pretty laid back, have a very positive outlook most of the time (even when I really shouldnt have infact lol), and cant be bothered stressing about things
I do some community service which entails painting over badgers stripes with black paint so meandouring drunks on the way home dont mistake them for oversized everton mints and choke to death
I try my best to stamp out world hunger, but the ungrateful africans keep sending my leftovers back complaining theyre all mouldy n stuff, but undeterred I might try first class post next time. Ever the optimist.....
And I would like to be the first human being to land on the sun, but obviously I'd go at night when its cooler coz I aint stooooooopid you know
Anyhoo, I'm not here "looking" for the love of my life, a month, a week or even the lust of the night.
I'm happy enough on my own to not "need" anyone and am just here to chat, use the boards and kill some spare time, anything more will either happen or wont and either is fine
I suppose I would say I havent been on my own long enough to have become detached and alienated from the opposite sex as so many people seem to nowadays, nor am I so freshly on my own that I "crave" or "need" to have a someone (anyone) to stop me being on my own if that makes sense?
I have quite a few female friends and am still friends with a few ex's as I enjoy the nuances (should that be nusances?) of female company lol. But as most are either married now, dating or are destined to only remain platonic interactions I do miss the uniqueness of undefined sarcastic, flirtacious light hearted style of back and forth you get with someone youre beginning to get to know that just isnt there with someone you already know well, or have "known"
You will either know instantly what I mean there (and its not rude btw :P) or you wont have a clue what I'm wittering about
Basically I suppose, it would be nice to chat to someone chilled, at ease with who and what they are and who has a bit of a zany, even sarcastic sense of humour. Someone grounded and with a realistic outlook that with luck would turn into at least a viable friendship. If it moved past the platonic stage or even headed towards an actual relationship of one type or another that would be fine in a reasonable time frame. But isnt a specific aim or reason for being here as that either happens by itself naturally or doesnt and cant be forced
Hopefully that will remove some of the confuddlification my profile has seemed to cause lol, or (more probably) has just muddied the waters of cognition even further :)
At the moment some of my time is also taken up with putting the finishing touches to my first attempt at getting a book published. So anyone who enjoys reading writers like Dean Koontz, James Herbert or Stephen King would be welcomed as a "guinea pig" so to speak lol. although running on a wheel in a fur coat is of course optional
Also, anyone with an above average knowledge of the written word who would like to volunteer to do some proofing for an endless supply of gratitude would be very welcomed, but we can all hope eh?
Anyway, best of luck on here
Mike