Your behaviour plays an enormous part in your dating success. People unknowingly can affect their chances of finding love, usually due to past experiences and bad habits. Here are the most common dating habits that play a part in why you are single.
Thinking of the past
By thinking of past relationships and comparing each new one to a past one, can have a major impact on your chances of having a successful relationship. When a relationship ends you tend to think of the bad times especially the breakup and how hurt you felt. This gives you a negative attitude towards dating and future partners can pick up this negative vibe from you, even if it is unintentional.
In a rush to settle down
It is normal to have an idea in your head of when you’d like to settle down with someone, move in together, get married and start a family, but these things don’t always happen when you’d like them to. Putting pressure on yourself to make these things happen isn’t healthy and you risk scaring partners away with your desperation to settle down. You also risk misjudging someone, as you won’t give yourself time to get to know what he or she is really like.
Choosing the wrong people
People tend to be attracted by particular types of people, often people who aren’t compatible with them. By choosing to date someone who can’t emotionally be there for you, you risk getting hurt over and over again.
A relationship is an answer
By believing a relationship is an answer to all your problems, you are putting a huge strain on any new partner. By putting pressure like this on someone, you are headed for yet more heartache.
If you are guilty of one or more of the above, don’t worry; you can change the way you behave towards dating and relationships. Below are four simple steps you can follow to help you to change your attitude and habits towards dating.
Step 1 – Acknowledge your feelings
You need to acknowledge your feelings towards dating as it’s possible your attitude is preventing you from having successful dates if any at all. Whether you’ve completely lost faith in finding someone at all, or you’re waiting for your perfect prince to sweep you off your feet or princess to be by your side, it’s time you were realistic. Whether you have high hopes or low hopes, you will be waiting a long time unless you relieve yourself from these beliefs and be prepared to give people a chance to make you happy. Understanding how your attitude is preventing you from successful dating is the first step in changing your habits.
Step 2 – Identify what’s preventing you from successful dating
Storing up all your feelings and thoughts, both good and bad, from previous relationships can be destructive when it comes to dating. You’ll forever be comparing new relationships to past ones, which isn’t healthy. Having painful memories, hard times, feelings of anger and sadness constantly on your mind, whether they’re about your previous relationships or other aspects of your life, will certainly harm your dating life. If you appear to be dwelling on the past, your negativity will no doubt put potential partners off. On the other hand, having incredibly high expectations and turning down dates because you don’t believe they’re good enough for you, is just as destructive. There’s no harm in having standards and aspects you do and don’t like in a partner, but to hold out for someone who you only imagine in your head will leave you lonely and waiting a long time.
Step 3 – Let go of past emotions
Each new person you date is unique and should be treated differently. Never treat your new date as an ex, they are someone completely different and should be treated with respect and have your full attention. By being hooked on the past with negative emotions, you’re holding yourself back from embarking on a new relationship that could lead to something very serious. Letting go of these thoughts and emotions is a huge step towards successful dating. Instead of regretting the past, look at is as experience to better your future. Thinking positively can do wonders to your dating experiences as well as other aspects in your life.
Step 4 – Move on
Imagining how you would like your life to be one day is a good way to look towards the future. It can take time to let go of negative thoughts about dating and relationships, but by thinking about the future each time you start dwelling on the past, you will eventually learn to look forward instead of back. Concentrate on having fun while dating and don’t pressurise yourself to find your perfect partner immediately. If you are unhappy about another aspect in your life, it could be holding you back from successful dating, whether you’re stuck in a job you hate or want to lose weight or change your appearance. By making a change such as following a healthier lifestyle, or simply changing your hairstyle, it can do wonders for your outlook on life and make you appear more attractive to others.